Mean Girls Suck

It was love the moment I laid eyes on her.  She toddled in and offered me a diaper to wear as a "Monkey Hat."  She had that effect on everyone - as group of 10 adults were all willing to walk around with size 4 Pampers on our heads without a second thought.  Although I did not give birth to her, she was my first baby girl. 

She has a sweetness to her that many lack.  She just wants people to be happy, and makes decisions to ensure that people around her feel loved.  In a few months she is going to graduate high school - which is simply incredible to me because in my mind she should still be six-years-old.  In the meanwhile she is dealing with the end of an era and on the precipice of a new dawn.  Unfortunately the experience is being clouded by a group of "friends" who are singling her out and giving credence to the term "mean girls". 

Now, this makes me want to fly across the country and slap a handful of teenagers - many of whom I have met throughout the years.  Unfortunately that is not in the cards at this time, nor do I feel she would wish I follow through on this desire.  But, words are my epees and I will wield them.  So, here's my letter to my not-so-baby girl:

Dear Pink Glitter Girl:

You are just about done.  Only a few months to go and you will have completed all your schooling requirements.  Right now you are dealing with a group of "friends" who are making what should be a really exciting time in your life - kind of sucky. And, I'm sorry this is something you have to cope with.  You see, in high school everything revolves around popularity and being liked by the "in group." The ones with the "most friends" wins.   And when you're in - it's GREAT!  But, popularity is a fickle friend that can turn on you abruptly and for no real reason at all leaving you lonely and sad.

The good news is that you're starting the next chapter of your life.  The more grown up chapter.  The one where you can choose people that are like you in personality.  That are kind. That are sharing.  That want to be with you despite your boyfriend, your family, your baggage.  They are there for you when you're dealing with life struggles and they are celebrating with you when you are handed tremendous successes.  They're not jealous nor petty.  They know all your skeletons and are able to laugh with you about them whilst simultaneously guarding your deepest secrets. You can call them up at 1:00 in the morning on a Tuesday to complain about something, knowing that you woke her out of a dead sleep, and she will insist that she was up.  You can complain about things from 20 years ago, things about this morning or things that may or may not ever happen. They will eat Ramen with you when you are poor. They will make you feel better about really bad hair cuts and tell you that an outfit looks terrible on you without hurting your feelings. They will know that you're insecure about your SAT scores and NEVER make fun of you for them. They will tell you that your ex-boyfriends new girlfriend isn't even CLOSE to as cute as you (even if he's dating Giselle).  And when some mean girl walks into a place where you are - she will warn you and you will all pretend like you are having SO MUCH FUN that you don't even notice the mean girls existence. THAT is a real friend. 

And, as you age, you begin to realize that you don't HAVE to be friends with the mean people.  Because the world is full of them.  Hold your head high, be dignified and classy around them - never give them ammunition to use against you. They will create enough of it on their own.  But you don't NEED them.  You will have your real friends.  You will also realize that it's ok to not have 50 million "best friends."  Deep down inside you will understand that you may only have a handful of really close girlfriends. Maybe only one. And, that's ok.  Life is not a popularity contest.  It's about being the youest you that you can be and surrounding yourself with people who love that you. 

Yes, it sucks right now as the petty girls are speaking badly about you and pulling all kinds of social media snubbing.  It hurts when your "friends" gang up against you and say cruel things.  It still hurts as an adult.  But you're almost through.  Hold your head high, smile that gorgeous smile and think about fabulous shoes.  Because really, they're bitches. No REAL friend would put you through that. And, I know it seems like the end of the world because this is the only world you know - and every hallway you walk down in school they are there whispering about you. Or worse, ignoring you.

The good news is in a few years you will have no idea who these girls are dating, what clothes they are wearing and what drama they are stringing along. Many of them will still be doing the same crap with the same group of friends.  But YOU will have created YOUR world now and you can rock it out loud.   Or, even better, you can laugh about what a train wreck they have become with your real friends - who won't judge your pettiness.  In fact, they'll listen to your same stories about how rotten they were to you - and then make you a funny ecard about it.  

Maybe, just maybe, they'll grow up.  And you can become "friends" with them once more.  But it will be YOUR choice and on your terms, not simply because you're forced to be together under the same high school roof.

Love, you can get through ANYTHING as long as you know it's only for a few more months.  There is an end in sight.  And then a beautiful and amazing beginning of the rest of your life.  And I will be there to celebrate all of it with you with your real friends.

Love  you more than chocolate rolled in glitter and dipped in Veuve Cliquot.

xoxoxo Tracy