From the makers of "SWASS Be Gone" Personal Hygiene Spray and "Bubbling Vajayjay" Sparkling Douche - it's Shut the Fucupcakes!
Mother-In-Law: I can't believe my son married you. He was dating such a lovely girl before you came along and ruined things. Whatever happened to her? I think she became a supermodel/doctor/humanitarian.
Continue to let her weave you a giant loser cape of insults. Or, you could try Shut the Fucupcakes.
Mother-In-Law: My son never told me you baked. They're probably not as good as mmmph, mmph, mppph."
Shut the Fucupcakes are a MUST for so many occasions.
Dickhead Neighbor: Hey, douche bag. Cut your freakin lawn. Jimmy Hoffa could be buried under there.
Drag the lawn mower out of its rusty coma in the shed. OR serve up a batch of Shut the Fucupcakes. It's your choice.
Dickhead: You can't be serious. You're giving me dessert instead of mowing? Mmm, disisgood, mmm, umm, munch." Hand that satisfied customer a scythe and send him on his way!
Is life throwing you lemons? Bake them into Shut the Fucupcakes!
Therapist: We need to talk about your child's behavior. He is beginning to show homicidal tendencies...
Shut the Fucupcake STAT!
Therapist: We are considering major shock therapy for his bhavomunch umm umm.
Shut the Fucupcakes are perfect for every occasion. Why spend thousands of dollars on a wedding cake, when you can serve Shut the Fucupcakes!
Best Man: I have seen some the groom do some fucked up shit. Remember the time in New Orleans with the transvestite hooker - What the Fucupcakes? But I haven't finished my speech, Yum, um, nomnomnom."
Car is making some weird noise and turning up the radio isn't making it go away? Shut the Fucupcakes to the rescue! Shove A CAR-amel Shut the Fucupcake on that tail pipe and drive your problems away.
And, don't forget Mommy's Little Helper: Bite Sized Shut the Fucupcakes! Now in Chocolate and Marshmallow Fluff.
Whiny Tiny Person: Waaaaaaahhhhhmmph, mmph, mmph.
Wife: Honey - why is there a woman at our door holding a mini version of you in her arms?
Shut the Fucupcakes: For All of Life's Little Emergencies.
Disclaimer: Shut The Fucupcakes may not actually make people shut the fuck up.