Announcer: Are your kids robbing you of your will to live? Is the boss riding your ass about your boring job? Slumlord threatening eviction because of late rent? Sure, you could pack up your belongings in a Hefty and head for your parent’s basement. Or you could try Shut the Fucupcakes!
From the makers of "SWASS Be Gone" Personal Hygiene Spray and "Bubbling Vajayjay" Sparkling Douche - it's Shut the Fucupcakes!
Mother-In-Law: “I can't believe my son married you. He was dating such a lovely girl before you came along and ruined things. Whatever happened to her? I think she became a supermodel/doctor/humanitarian.”
Sounds like you could use Shut the Fucupcakes.
Mother-In-Law: “My son said you never cook – unlike his last girlfriend who was a gourmet chef... They're probably not as good as mmmph, mmph, mppph."
Shut the Fucupcakes are a MUST for so many occasions.
Dickhead Neighbor: “Hey, douche bag. Could you LEAVE your garbage cans out any longer? And, maybe you could mow your lawn once and a while, you prick.”
Drag the lawn mower out of its rusty coma in the shed. OR serve up a batch of Shut the Fucupcakes. It's your choice.
Dickhead: “You can't be serious. You're giving me dessert instead of mowing? Mmm, disisgood, mmm, umm, munch."
Is life throwing lemons at your head? Bake them into Shut the Fucupcakes!
Therapist: We need to talk about your child's behavior. He is beginning to show homicidal tendencies...
Shut the Fucupcake STAT!
Therapist: We are considering major shock therapy for his bhavomunch umm umm.
Shut the Fucupcakes are perfect for every occasion. Why spend thousands of dollars on a wedding cake, when you can serve Shut the Fucupcakes?
Best Man: I have seen some the groom do some fucked up shit. Remember the time in New Orleans with the transvestite hooker - What the Fucupcakes? But I haven't finished my speech, Yum, um, nomnomnom."
And, don't forget Mommy's Little Helper: Bite Sized Shut the Fucupcakes! Now in Chocolate and Marshmallow Fluff.
Whiny Tiny Person: Waaaaaaahhhhhmmph, mmph, mmph.
Wife: Honey - why is there a woman at our door holding a mini version of you in her arms?
Shut the Fucupcakes: For All of Life's Little Emergencies.
Disclaimer: Shut The Fucupcakes may not actually make people shut the fuck up.