I Wanna Wite For That Wascally Wabbit!

I have finally figured out what I want to do when I grow up.  I want to write for the new Looney Tunes show.   It’s on the Cartoon Network in the afternoon when the girls need some downtime and I guffaw like a donkey through the entire thing.  The writing is HIGH-LARIOUS – especially for Lola Bunny - because she's certifiable.  Here is some of her dialogue from my favorite episode. 

In Episode 12: "Double Date" Daffy Duck wins a dinner for two at a fancy restaurant (by rigging the contest, of course). But socially awkward (and slightly bitter) Daffy keeps striking out with the ladies.  So, Bugs Bunny enlists his relatively unstable “girlfriend” Lola Bunny to give Daffy some pointers on how to speak to a woman. 

Lola: Before you can have a successful date, you need to understand women. So I’ve written you a script filled with things that every woman will want to hear on a date. If you say these things, I guarantee that any woman will immediately fall in love with you.

Daffy: Really?

Lola: (hands him a piece of paper) Just say those words.


Daffy: “You are a beautiful, beautiful woman. You are the epitome of grace, style and femininity. You’re my best friend.” … This stuff is pretty good.

Lola: Told you!

Daffy: “You’re my best friend.  In fact, you’re the only friend I need. Here’s a good idea...Let’s get rid of all of our other friends and only be friends with each other. Also, we should cut off family members that don’t support our relationship. Also, we should have jobs where we work together. Because if there’s one thing I know, it’s that if we drop all of our friends, cut off our families and work together, we are guaranteed to have a perfect relationship.” … This really works on women?

(A now smitten Lola is staring adoringly at Daffy)

Daffy: Are you ok?

Lola: I’m fine. I just, I never noticed how handsome you were.

Daffy: Oh, thanks.

Lola: You have a really big beak.

Daffy: Thank you very much.


Daffy asks Tina Russo (from the Copy Place) out on the dinner date.  While he’s taking a shower in preparation for his date, Lola enters Daffy's room through his window.  She's sitting on his bed waiting for him to come back in.

Lola: Hello, Daffy.

Daffy: Ooh! Lola! What are you doing here?

Lola: Did you ask that girl out?

Daffy: Yeah, I did.

Lola: So you’re gonna go out with her? What do you even know about this girl?  She could be trouble. She could be dangerous. You know, not every girl is as stable as me. (Crushes a soda can on her head)


Daffy: No, Tina’s great.

Lola: Her name’s Tina? That’s not even a real name.  It’s a made up name like Ballswick or Kathlarg.

Daffy: I think Tina’s a real name.

Lola: Oh, she has you so duped.

Daffy: (opening the bedroom door) I think you should leave.


Lola: Fine. But you are making a huge mistake. (Yelling while climbing back out of Daffy’s window). Tina’s crazy! She’s a crazy person. She’s a crazy, fake-named person who’s probably a stalker!  (Slides down the ladder propped up in the window).

I’m just gonna leave this ladder here for later. I can’t lose him. I’ve got to stop that date. And I know just how I’m going to do it.  Is it weird to talk to myself? No, it’s not weird. You think I need a haircut?   I don’t know. You could grow out your bangs.  Ooh, that’s a good idea.

Watch the clip here and laugh until you stop: Stalker Lola

Comedic genius!  I just imagine sitting around a table laughing your ass off writing these scenes. Ok, now that I know what I want to be when I grow up…anyone got an in? Some contact at Warner Brothers?  Or, perhaps someone that owes you a hit?  They could take out one of the writers to create a need for me.   However, I don’t want to know about it.  Because orange is just not flattering on me.  And I have never really understood why Kardashians choose to wear those God awful jumpers.  In fact, that may actually make a really funny Lola Bunny episode!  See!  I am perfect for this.  Now, if I could just get someone to call and offer me a job.  They're probably working on the second season of this series right now – so maybe there’s still time for me to get hired…